The Challenge Is Coming Back and Everything is Right in the World

Brian Batty 3/12/14

Today Buzzfeed got the exclusive first preview for the new season of The Challenge on MTV. In just 60 seconds of quick-cut footage we sure got a lot to wet our appetites until April 10th when all becomes right in the world and Johnny Bananas, Nany, and C “The Free Agent” T are back in our lives again.

God I missed them

This season The Challenge goes away from the cute little kitschy two man teams and it turns into a gigantic free-for-all. This year it’s an individual Challenge and like CT says “I’ve always been a free agent, now it’s time to play my game”. Yeah I mean I don’t really know exactly what that means, but do we really need to understand what CT is saying? Ever? Can’t we just bask in the glory that is CT and pretend we never questioned him in the first place. I’m not trying to get my Adam King on. I don’t want CT to “eat” me, as he so eloquently put it.

Freakin nightmares man I swear

The contestants will apparently have a random draw after that days winner chooses a contestant to go into the elimination round. That leads to so many questions, but we’ll get to that after the next vague trailer they give us in a few weeks. I just cannot wait for the inevitable CT and Zach push-each-other-out-of-the-way elimination round we’re bound to get. Well at least if the Challenge Gods are with us this season.

Speaking of Challenge Gods is there a single pre-season trailer for this show that didn’t have an amazing Johnny Bananas quote to go along with it. In his douche-bag, fratty, California way that only Johnny could make sound cool he says “I will end you bro”. Amazing. I cannot wait to see who he’s talking to. The video makes it look like he’s responding to Jordan’s “I will send you home”, but I know MTV too well to think that those are linear conversations.

Quick thought: How long do you think Jordan got himself that arrogant walk around the house like I’m untouchable vibe to him this year? Five minutes? Six Minutes? Six and a half minutes? I love the swagger that second year people come into this show with after they have success as a rookie. Always leads to an early exit, it’s like clockwork

Let’s recap the hookups then shall we? “I believe hooking up in the game, may have its advantages” – Jemmye March 12th, 2014. I can’t believe someone like Jemmye would use sex to her advantage. That is literally the most shocking thing I gathered from this. Jemmye!?!?!? Nooo. No way. Not Jemmye. Nope.

I’m like super smart guys and totally not a slut at all

Anyways, we had Jordan and Laurel, newcomer Johnny from RW: Portland hooking up with…Camila? Jemmye? I can’t really tell who it is. Any readers want to get back to me on who they think it is I would love it. Let’s see we also had Dustin and Jessica (Who hooked up with Trey last season off camera according to my girl Laura from RW: St Thomas’s Twitter), Nany and Aneesa (yayyyyyy………Aneesa’s back……..yayyyy…..) making out in a cab, then Nany and Cohutta kissing at a bar, followed immediately by a shot of Nany crying. Which can only mean one thing, Nany’s making up drama again.

Awww Nany it’s ok, something else is going to be life-shatteringly terrible tomorrow too. Get over this one.

I don’t really care about any of that though. I would watch these people play bridge in an empty Greek diner. Rules are just rules, pairings are just pairings, I don’t care who’s on whose team. All I care about is that The Challenge is back, my fourth favorite sport is in season and that’s enough for me. #TeamBananas

One thought on “The Challenge Is Coming Back and Everything is Right in the World

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