I’m not sayin this does looks fishy, but I’m just sayin…

I’m going to describe to you a person that you know very well. I’m not going to say his name, because that would be reckless, and by no means am I going to continue making any reckless accusations in the column (I would also never be sarcastic either(ever)). Tell if you smell the same thing Afro Man smelled at the beginning of Colt 45…

…So you have an athlete, an explosive athlete, possibly the most explosive athlete to ever exist on planet earth

…For years he is able to carry a burden un-matched by any other athlete in his sport

…He can run and jump fast and higher than just about any of his peers

…For over a decade now this person has slowly gained massive amounts of muscle. To the point where, at his peak, he was measuring at roughly 6’9” and 285. All this while maintaining his other worldly agility and flexibility

…He’s never gotten seriously injured while his peers are falling off quicker than a half-payed-attention-to game of Lemmings

…He’s played with the pressure of millions of people laser locked into his every move, and therefore has been forced to prove he’s something that he might not quite be and vilifying him because he isn’t reaching those insane expectations

…Then, when his sport decides to begin testing for Human Growth Hormone, or HGH, he loses a ton of weight over the off season. This weight loss becomes so noticeable it turns into its own storyline

…Then, going into a season he turned into yet another Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey circus act, all of that other worldly athleticism completely vanishes into thin air

…To put it in perspective he was getting his shots blocked at the rim by white dudes

…A magically injury suddenly appears out of nowhere like a unicorn grazing in your backyard and he is ruled out for two weeks

…Those two weeks are reportedly spent “recovering” in Miami. A place in sports known for, among other things, having HGH ready and waiting to buy in the front windows of strip malls

…After two weeks of “rest and relaxation” this athlete returns to his team looking as fresh and explosive as the 28 year old version of himself and is currently carrying his team on a long win streak


You tell me what’s really going on here…I’m not sayin, but I’m just sayin….


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