The Real World: Mugshot Edition

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I’ve watched every single Real World season since I can remember. I’ve always loved this show, for different reasons every year. But I came to my conclusions on these seven people faster than I ever have before. Between Bruno, Jason, and Tony I can’t figure out which one got further through the casting process for Tool Academy.

The four female cast members, on the other hand, are just an incredible casting job by the Real World people. I can relate to all four of these girls because I was friends with all of them in high school. Every Chicago suburban high school had at least one form or another of all four archetypes they represent.

Sylvia is the funny, spunky Mexican girl everyone was friends with in high school. Well friends with, until you left the wrong message on someone’s MySpace wall for her to see. That’s when that Mexican fire comes raging out like Shang Tsung at the end of Mortal Kombat.

I know I just got my references and my races all sorts of mixed up there, but just roll with me for a second.

There was a Violetta walking down every hallway; the dream of every Freshman boy, and the knife in the back of every Senior guy. Got along with everyone at first, but slowly but surely through hooking up and AIM chat room wars, pissed off every popular girl in the school along the way. I was always friends with the Violetta’s of the world because I never quite understood why she got under everyone’s skin so easily, and yet admired her for the way she kept her chin head high amidst all the unnecessary drama.

We all fell in love with a Madison or two in high school. You get randomly paired with her as lab partners in Chemistry class Freshman year, you end up doing all of the work, but somehow you don’t even notice or care. Her smile was infectious enough that you just kept going, because this pretty girl was laughing at your jokes. There’s a devil in every woman, I swear to God.

Then there’s Nicole, who after one episode is already in the running for my favorite female Real World-ers of all time. We all had at least one Nicole, always playing sports with the boys, always cracking jokes in class, and not afraid of her homosexuality what-so-ever. I’m just happy I have an entire season to be able to understand her voice better. It’s like they pulled a character out of a movie with this one.

This cast pulled a Real World first, and managed to argue about money on THE FIRST NIGHT! I’ve never seen that out of a cast. Leave it to this generation to turn a misunderstanding about a bar tab into an all-night shouting match that turns one cast member into Mrs Steal Yo Man, and another into Crying Barbie (this years hottest holiday gift!).

Here’s what always happens to me when I watch a season of this show. I get super judgy at the beginning, when the cast members are still acting up for the cameras. Then, a couple episodes in when the cast members start acting like normal people, instead of TV stars, I start to like them a lot more. Nobody would be comfortable with the camera’s around at first. I imagine it’s a not an easy adjustment to make having a camera and a sound guy in your face 24/7.

I’m optimistic about this “Skeletons” theme going on this season. I was hesitant to buy-in to the “Exes” theme last season, where they moved a handful of the housemate’s former significant others into the house. But turns out last season was the most well produced season of the show in a long time. That’s why I’m keeping faith, the people of Bunim/Murray haven’t let me down yet, why start now.

The big reveal at the end sprung out of sweet innocent blonde Madison’s past. She claimed at least fifteen times throughout the episode she had some dark past or some secret or whatever. I tried not getting too excited about it, but then as always, real life is crazier than the movies. Turns out this Madison character is actually a crazy person! Out goes the smiley, bubbly blonde, in comes the mugshot!!! Out goes nice, wouldn’t-hurt-a-fly southern girl, in comes her sister who throws hardcore shade with something about money that got stolen, and how good of a liar she is. She even claims she’s had guns pointed at her head!!!!!

What?!?!?!

I mean……

How long till next Tuesday?

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